rayaso | CREATIVE DIFFERENCES

Week 19: “Kindling”

The Burning Man - Draft One
Chapter Three: Another Senseless Slaughter

It was perfect, just the way he'd planned it: an empty, dark street on a lonely, dark night, the living room window open to catch the cooling desert breeze. Quietly, the Burning Man began creeping inside, placing one large boot directly over the kittens he knew were sleeping below. He didn’t care -- he climbed down, and his boots

Hold it! HOLD IT! Don’t you goddamn dare have me kill those kittens! I know I’m a twisted serial killer, but since it’s the first draft, there’s still time for you to listen to your creation.

That’s right, your creation! Squash those cute, helpless kittens and you’ll find this book on the Half-Off tables so fast it'll make your head spin for a week. You won’t be a “master storyteller” anymore – you’ll be a “monster kitten-killer.” So pay attention!

I never wanted to be some cheesy sociopathic killer, but since you've failed to give me any reason for slaughtering those perfectly nice families in the first two chapters, that’s the best I can hope for if you don’t make big changes now. No, you can’t simply make me hate my mother. She was wonderful and I had a great childhood -- you wrote that in Chapter One, and it was one of your few good ideas.

This isn't the only detail you've screwed up – you forgot the wood I need to burn the bodies of my new victims (you really are one sick bastard, by the way). The wood is my calling card, its how I get my nickname and how I'll eventually get caught. You loved it when the New York Times called you the “king of details,” but you won’t be king much longer if you don’t fix mistakes like that.

I don’t care about all your bestsellers, and neither will your readers. You won’t like it when they don’t finish this book and start re-reading some old Stephen King thriller. You always tell fans that your characters come alive in your head, and you write what they say, but now you’re ignoring what made you great. I can’t let that happen, not while I’m on the page.

I’m not the only character with complaints. The mom that I behead with my machete – you really need professional help -- has some issues, too. First, you need to give her a name because “Family 3 Mom” doesn't cut it, even for a first draft.

As usual, you've given her great curves, and this time you have her wear short shorts, no bra, and a tight blouse with one too many buttons undone. Family 3 Mom says you dress her like a hottie, but when I open the bedroom door, she’s sound asleep with Family 3 Dad. She wants some action before she dies, something un-mom-like that'll send me into a rage. Plus, a little soft-core porn wouldn't hurt sales, would it? Family 3 Mom has needs, and you’re not meeting them.

Readers have their needs too, and you’re starting to ignore them. Your writing has become boring, and boring isn’t working here or with that redhead from the book signing. (Of course I know about her – I know all your dreams, and that’s where she’ll stay unless you get busy. There’s no little blue pill for bad writing.)

Hank, the detective selling all your books, wants a sidekick and you should give him one – he’s making you all that money. It’s hard to monologue without a sidekick, and even a hero needs someone to give him a boost: “There’s no one like you, Hank!” Would that be so hard? Make her a hot young detective with brains, throw in some innuendos, a sex scene or two, and you've got a winner.

If the sidekick wants too many lines, have me kill her in Chapter 10 and let Hank try a tragic scene for a change. It'll also provide his motive for burning me alive in the last chapter, and I know you won't want to give that idea up. You like irony – it makes you think you’re a Real Writer with something Important to say about the human soul.

That's fine, but don't go overboard with it. If your readers want depth, they can always read Crime and Punishment. But Dostoevsky only has depth, there's no electricity at all, even with an axe murderer as the main character. What your fans really want is Detective Hank Jackson chasing a serial killer -- now that’s excitement!

If you can’t be deep, you'd better be exciting because that's where the big money is. Write quick, write hard, and buy more toys with the royalties.

All right, I've had my say, so get to work and type what we tell you. You've done it before, and look at your sales!

Now, wait just a second—don’t get carried away! There’s no reason to get mad! Calm down a little and—NO, NOT THE DELE

# # # # #

The Voice Inside – Draft One
Chapter One: Death Of A Smartass
^^blinking cursor^^

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Acknowledgement: A big "thank you" to

jem0000000 for teaching me how to double indent blocked sections of text using html.

Future Thank You. I will be out of town for Labor Day weekend, so it will be difficult for me to thank those of you leaving comments from 8/30 to 9/1. I will respond to all entries after my return.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

bleodswean.livejournal.com

Ha!!! Such a pushy muse! I love his bossy voice and felt sad there at the end with a single keystroke....

Now I find myself....hoping this is a bit of non-fiction and you really are penning a detective series. :)

Great job here!

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