Why Eat John Otto?
Apr. 15th, 2016 07:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rayasoWeek 18
Topic: John Otto
The word leaked out over the internet, reached a drizzle, and then faded quickly away. John Otto, drummer for the band Limp Bizkit, had died. No cause was given, but Peter Vincent III knew. Cthulhu’s at it again, he thought, after reading a small obituary in The Times. But why Otto? He’s not like the others.
Peter Vincent III had been aware of Cthulhu’s return for years, but Cthulhu had kept fairly quiet. It was the family business to keep track of evil supernatural beings. He was the grandson of Peter Vincent, famed vampire killer, and he had inherited his grandfather’s abilities. “Madness is not the only thing that skips generations,” a nurse had predicted at his birth.
It’s been years since Cthulhu ate a drummer, thought Peter, as he consulted his grandfather’s records. Let’s see – there was Keith Moon of The Who in 1978, John Bonham of Led Zeppelin in 1980, and Mick Shrimpton of Spinal Tap in 1984.
The first Peter Vincent had worked hard on the cover stories – alcohol, alcohol and vomit, and spontaneous explosion – and the public had bought them. Still, Cthulhu’s fangs had been all over those deaths, if you had been familiar with his work, and the Vincents had been well acquainted with Cthulhu and his appetite for famous rock drummers. So why Otto?
John Otto just didn’t make sense. Why now, after 30 years? There had been a real decline in live drummers since the invention of computerized electronic drums, and rock ‘n roll had become nothing but pop princesses, Auto-Tune, and sound engineers. Not even Cthulhu could stomach that. Sure, Otto had been alive – so maybe that’s all Cthulhu needs these days – a pulse and some drum sticks.
A talented drummer now and then is a reasonable loss, but where’s Cthulhu headed – garage bands? Cthulhu on a rampage was not a comforting thought.
Peter knew that the more famous the drummer, the more dangerous Cthulhu became. Cthulhu didn’t just eat the drummer, but he absorbed his soul, making him more ferocious. But Limp Bizkit’s most recent comeback attempt (the “Remember Us?” tour) had failed long before reaching the tribal casino stage. If Cthulhu’s planning his own comeback, eating Otto’s not going to do it.
It was time for Peter Vincent III to live up to his name.
Peter thought that Cthulhu wasn’t really that bad a monster, once you got past all that evil incarnate stuff. Sure, he was part man, part octopus, and part dragon, with ridiculously tiny wings; but, hopefully, it was not true that simply looking at Cthulhu could drive a man insane. His grandfather had seen Cthulhu several times, after all. Besides, time had not been kind to Cthulhu. He had shrunk to human size from several hundred feet tall due to a lack of worshippers and a poor diet.
Cthulhu could be anywhere, thought Peter. I need to find out where he’s going to strike next. So, why eat John Otto?
Peter could find no connection between Cthulhu and Otto, other than his choice of instrument, but it wasn’t as if Cthulhu would devour just any drummer. They must have talent!
It was time for a little research. A quick internet search revealed all that Peter needed to know.
“Limp Bizkit” had been chosen as the band’s name to be repulsive, so that only the right kind of people would listen to their music. They wanted to be a cult band, but at the same time they sought mass attention by wearing face and body paint, including appearing as skeletons, during concerts. They combined rock and hip hop, and called it “nü metal,” with an umlaut.
Let’s see . . . funny-looking, pretentious attention seekers with a cult following . . . I’ve got it! Cthulhu’s eating representations of himself!
At heart (if he had one), Cthulhu was just a garden-variety serial killer trying to work out some psychological issues with death therapy. This realization somehow made Cthulhu more human, even though he was immortal and usually several stories tall.
Peter knew the why of Cthulhu’s recent attack, but he didn’t know the where of the next one – that took a little more time on the internet. According to its web site, Limp Bizkit had immediately hired a new drummer, and they were planning a memorial concert at the Johnson High School Gym in Jacksonville, Florida, the group’s home town. Disturbed and Slipknot were “special guests.”
It’ll be a black hole of suckage! He can finish off Limp Bizkit, eat the other bands, and still have room for the audience. Cthulhu loved smorgasbords.
Fortunately, the concert wasn’t until Saturday night, which gave Peter time to plan and get to the gym before Cthulhu.
The best way to fight Cthulhu was with a heavily equipped army, but the Vincents had burned their military contacts years ago. Grandpa warned them that Chimera was a fire breather, but they didn’t listen, thought Peter.
Without the necessary firepower, the only way to attack Cthulhu was to exploit his one weakness.
Cthulhu has the attention span of a four-year-old. Distract and redirect works best. If he’s hungry for drummers, I’ll give him one he can’t ignore, and lure him out into the swamps. With his sense of direction, he’ll never find his way out.
After hours spent on the phone, Peter gave up. Strangely enough, the prospect of being Cthulhu-bait was not a gig that appealed to anyone. “You want me to do what?” was the least offensive response.
“Improvisation leads to destruction” was one of his grandfather’s favorite expressions, but Peter never really appreciated it until now.
If I can’t have a drummer, I can use AutoDrum – I just need a truck, a computer, and some loudspeakers. Cthulhu’s hearing was not very good after all those millennia of bellowing, and his eyesight had never been too keen. He’ll hear the drumming and follow the truck -- it just might work!
By the time of the concert, everything was in place and Peter was ready. He parked his truck near the school cafeteria with the drum apparatus mounted on the back, ready to lure Cthulhu into the swamp. Who knows, maybe he’ll become a tourist attraction, like the alligators.
Peter could hear the beginning of the concert, so he walked over to the gym to wait for Cthulhu to arrive.
Limp Bizkit certainly had its wish for a cult following. The bleachers were about half full. Handmade signs over the stage read “We Miss U John Otto” and “Limp Bizkit 4 Ever!”
The band was onstage, with a few musicians painted as skeletons. They sound good – real good! Peter was shocked. The band was driven by the powerful, complicated rhythms of their new drummer, who sounded amazing. Even Bonham might be jealous, marveled Peter. This is a huge improvement!
There was only one problem. The new drummer was Cthulhu.
He fit right in with the skeletons, so he wasn’t noticeable at first, but there he was, mostly hidden by the drum kit and the rest of the band. Cthulhu was banging away with at least eight drum sticks, one in each hand and six with his tentacles, and they were all moving so fast it looked like one big blur.
At last, it finally made sense to Peter.
Cthulhu ate drummers to steal their talent, not their souls. He’s channeling Bonham, Moon, Shrimpton and even Otto! He’s turned himself into the god of rock drummers!
Cthulhu hadn’t needed Otto’s talent, just his place in Limp Bizkit. With their skeleton paint, he’ll fit right in. Limp Bizkit wants to have a cult following – who has a bigger cult than Cthulhu?
It was a marketing coup for the ages, but it came with a cost. The members of Limp Bizkit knew they had to make some changes to succeed. Cthulhu needed the right kind of band. Of course, Limp Bizkit already had a drummer, but really, what could John Otto say? The turnover rate in the band had always been high, although none of the past members had been eaten.
Sacrificing Otto was a little extreme, but in a way he would always be with the band, so only Otto really objected.
Peter listened to a few more songs, and then quietly left. He would have to monitor Cthulhu a little more closely, but he didn’t see any big problems.
As expected, Limp Bizkit’s cult following kept growing, to the point where they had to deny being mainstream, the true mark of success for an underground band.
Peter noticed band members disappearing from time to time, only to be replaced by new fodder. The losses were acceptable, since Cthulhu was too busy being a rock star to terrify the world.
Peter’s main concern was that someday, Cthulhu might eat Fred Durst, the lead singer.
Cthulhu singing? Now that’s a real nightmare!
# # # # # #
Cthulhu Peter Vincent I, Limp Bizkit w/ Limp Bizkit w/
Vampire Killer John Otto Cthulhu
From the documentary
"Fright Night"
Topic: John Otto
WHY EAT JOHN OTTO?
The word leaked out over the internet, reached a drizzle, and then faded quickly away. John Otto, drummer for the band Limp Bizkit, had died. No cause was given, but Peter Vincent III knew. Cthulhu’s at it again, he thought, after reading a small obituary in The Times. But why Otto? He’s not like the others.
Peter Vincent III had been aware of Cthulhu’s return for years, but Cthulhu had kept fairly quiet. It was the family business to keep track of evil supernatural beings. He was the grandson of Peter Vincent, famed vampire killer, and he had inherited his grandfather’s abilities. “Madness is not the only thing that skips generations,” a nurse had predicted at his birth.
It’s been years since Cthulhu ate a drummer, thought Peter, as he consulted his grandfather’s records. Let’s see – there was Keith Moon of The Who in 1978, John Bonham of Led Zeppelin in 1980, and Mick Shrimpton of Spinal Tap in 1984.
The first Peter Vincent had worked hard on the cover stories – alcohol, alcohol and vomit, and spontaneous explosion – and the public had bought them. Still, Cthulhu’s fangs had been all over those deaths, if you had been familiar with his work, and the Vincents had been well acquainted with Cthulhu and his appetite for famous rock drummers. So why Otto?
John Otto just didn’t make sense. Why now, after 30 years? There had been a real decline in live drummers since the invention of computerized electronic drums, and rock ‘n roll had become nothing but pop princesses, Auto-Tune, and sound engineers. Not even Cthulhu could stomach that. Sure, Otto had been alive – so maybe that’s all Cthulhu needs these days – a pulse and some drum sticks.
A talented drummer now and then is a reasonable loss, but where’s Cthulhu headed – garage bands? Cthulhu on a rampage was not a comforting thought.
Peter knew that the more famous the drummer, the more dangerous Cthulhu became. Cthulhu didn’t just eat the drummer, but he absorbed his soul, making him more ferocious. But Limp Bizkit’s most recent comeback attempt (the “Remember Us?” tour) had failed long before reaching the tribal casino stage. If Cthulhu’s planning his own comeback, eating Otto’s not going to do it.
It was time for Peter Vincent III to live up to his name.
Peter thought that Cthulhu wasn’t really that bad a monster, once you got past all that evil incarnate stuff. Sure, he was part man, part octopus, and part dragon, with ridiculously tiny wings; but, hopefully, it was not true that simply looking at Cthulhu could drive a man insane. His grandfather had seen Cthulhu several times, after all. Besides, time had not been kind to Cthulhu. He had shrunk to human size from several hundred feet tall due to a lack of worshippers and a poor diet.
Cthulhu could be anywhere, thought Peter. I need to find out where he’s going to strike next. So, why eat John Otto?
Peter could find no connection between Cthulhu and Otto, other than his choice of instrument, but it wasn’t as if Cthulhu would devour just any drummer. They must have talent!
It was time for a little research. A quick internet search revealed all that Peter needed to know.
“Limp Bizkit” had been chosen as the band’s name to be repulsive, so that only the right kind of people would listen to their music. They wanted to be a cult band, but at the same time they sought mass attention by wearing face and body paint, including appearing as skeletons, during concerts. They combined rock and hip hop, and called it “nü metal,” with an umlaut.
Let’s see . . . funny-looking, pretentious attention seekers with a cult following . . . I’ve got it! Cthulhu’s eating representations of himself!
At heart (if he had one), Cthulhu was just a garden-variety serial killer trying to work out some psychological issues with death therapy. This realization somehow made Cthulhu more human, even though he was immortal and usually several stories tall.
Peter knew the why of Cthulhu’s recent attack, but he didn’t know the where of the next one – that took a little more time on the internet. According to its web site, Limp Bizkit had immediately hired a new drummer, and they were planning a memorial concert at the Johnson High School Gym in Jacksonville, Florida, the group’s home town. Disturbed and Slipknot were “special guests.”
It’ll be a black hole of suckage! He can finish off Limp Bizkit, eat the other bands, and still have room for the audience. Cthulhu loved smorgasbords.
Fortunately, the concert wasn’t until Saturday night, which gave Peter time to plan and get to the gym before Cthulhu.
The best way to fight Cthulhu was with a heavily equipped army, but the Vincents had burned their military contacts years ago. Grandpa warned them that Chimera was a fire breather, but they didn’t listen, thought Peter.
Without the necessary firepower, the only way to attack Cthulhu was to exploit his one weakness.
Cthulhu has the attention span of a four-year-old. Distract and redirect works best. If he’s hungry for drummers, I’ll give him one he can’t ignore, and lure him out into the swamps. With his sense of direction, he’ll never find his way out.
After hours spent on the phone, Peter gave up. Strangely enough, the prospect of being Cthulhu-bait was not a gig that appealed to anyone. “You want me to do what?” was the least offensive response.
“Improvisation leads to destruction” was one of his grandfather’s favorite expressions, but Peter never really appreciated it until now.
If I can’t have a drummer, I can use AutoDrum – I just need a truck, a computer, and some loudspeakers. Cthulhu’s hearing was not very good after all those millennia of bellowing, and his eyesight had never been too keen. He’ll hear the drumming and follow the truck -- it just might work!
By the time of the concert, everything was in place and Peter was ready. He parked his truck near the school cafeteria with the drum apparatus mounted on the back, ready to lure Cthulhu into the swamp. Who knows, maybe he’ll become a tourist attraction, like the alligators.
Peter could hear the beginning of the concert, so he walked over to the gym to wait for Cthulhu to arrive.
Limp Bizkit certainly had its wish for a cult following. The bleachers were about half full. Handmade signs over the stage read “We Miss U John Otto” and “Limp Bizkit 4 Ever!”
The band was onstage, with a few musicians painted as skeletons. They sound good – real good! Peter was shocked. The band was driven by the powerful, complicated rhythms of their new drummer, who sounded amazing. Even Bonham might be jealous, marveled Peter. This is a huge improvement!
There was only one problem. The new drummer was Cthulhu.
He fit right in with the skeletons, so he wasn’t noticeable at first, but there he was, mostly hidden by the drum kit and the rest of the band. Cthulhu was banging away with at least eight drum sticks, one in each hand and six with his tentacles, and they were all moving so fast it looked like one big blur.
At last, it finally made sense to Peter.
Cthulhu ate drummers to steal their talent, not their souls. He’s channeling Bonham, Moon, Shrimpton and even Otto! He’s turned himself into the god of rock drummers!
Cthulhu hadn’t needed Otto’s talent, just his place in Limp Bizkit. With their skeleton paint, he’ll fit right in. Limp Bizkit wants to have a cult following – who has a bigger cult than Cthulhu?
It was a marketing coup for the ages, but it came with a cost. The members of Limp Bizkit knew they had to make some changes to succeed. Cthulhu needed the right kind of band. Of course, Limp Bizkit already had a drummer, but really, what could John Otto say? The turnover rate in the band had always been high, although none of the past members had been eaten.
Sacrificing Otto was a little extreme, but in a way he would always be with the band, so only Otto really objected.
Peter listened to a few more songs, and then quietly left. He would have to monitor Cthulhu a little more closely, but he didn’t see any big problems.
As expected, Limp Bizkit’s cult following kept growing, to the point where they had to deny being mainstream, the true mark of success for an underground band.
Peter noticed band members disappearing from time to time, only to be replaced by new fodder. The losses were acceptable, since Cthulhu was too busy being a rock star to terrify the world.
Peter’s main concern was that someday, Cthulhu might eat Fred Durst, the lead singer.
Cthulhu singing? Now that’s a real nightmare!
# # # # # #
Cthulhu Peter Vincent I, Limp Bizkit w/ Limp Bizkit w/
Vampire Killer John Otto Cthulhu
From the documentary
"Fright Night"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 02:20 pm (UTC)But Limp Bizkit’s most recent comeback attempt (the “Remember Us?” tour) had failed long before reaching the tribal casino stage.
He had shrunk to human size from several hundred feet tall due to a lack of worshippers and a poor diet.
He’s turned himself into the god of rock drummers!
I really loved this Cthulhu interpretation of the prompt!
no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 03:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 11:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-17 05:35 pm (UTC)I liked how much Limp Bizkit's badness factored into Peter's assessment of Cthulhu's plans. I do question Cthulhu's decision to participate in a rock band that hasn't seen significant success in so long, especially one helmed by Fred Durst.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-17 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-17 07:28 pm (UTC)Limp Bizkit’s most recent comeback attempt (the “Remember Us?” tour) had failed long before reaching the tribal casino stage.
Ahahahaha! So cruel but so true. Unless the band agrees to split for good, they all pretty much wind up on this path.
a garden-variety serial killer trying to work out some psychological issues with death therapy.
Oh, the satirical slant on that hurts!
Cthulhu’s hearing was not very good after all those millennia of bellowing
Ah, poetic justice strikes again!
Sacrificing Otto was a little extreme, but in a way he would always be with the band, so only Otto really objected.
Yes, minor detail!
You know, I think it would take all of those extra tentacles and such to equal the speed and precision that John Bonham had. Cthulhu channeling Bonham actually kind of makes sense. :D
no subject
Date: 2016-04-17 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 04:22 am (UTC)Here's another. In this one she's seven months, and had just had her very first taste...or five...of chocolate. I love the crazed look! In the scrunched picture she's three months old. She's ten years old now! I adore her-- thank you for enjoying her photo.
My heart is still in it, and I am hoping I have time to write for the home game this week. In the meantime I am so loving the reading. :-)
no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 01:40 pm (UTC)I'm glad you're considering the home game.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 07:44 pm (UTC)Peter knew that the more famous the drummer, the more dangerous Cthulhu became
God help us if he ever eats Dave Grohl or Animal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AZz9TSjZCM).
no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-19 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 10:55 pm (UTC)This was a very amusing piece and a real mood lightener. Nicely done!
Evil Scarecrow is the band I think Cthulu would most enjoy. If you don't want to listen to this whole epic about the giant monster "Crabulon," skip to the 3:30 part to watch the whole crowd of metal heads pretending to be crabs and scuttling back and forth. It is a moment of beauty.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 11:53 pm (UTC)