rayaso

THE PIRATES

There was a princess visiting the castle today, and that meant only one thing to a pirate: ransom, and lots of it. Pacing the deck of his ship, the mighty Corsair, the captain trained his spyglass on the drawbridge and saw the princess’s carriage leave without her.

“How can I kidnap her?” he thought. “She’s in a castle defended by the King – but nothing’s impossible for Captain Roberts, the terror of the Spanish Main!”

He looked at the defenses protecting the castle, then at the single cannon on board the Corsair.

“Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum,” Captain Roberts said. “I’ve been outgunned before, but pirates never give up.”

Even so, his cannon was too far away and that was a problem – the Corsair was tied to the dock and couldn’t sail closer. His crew was in town having fun, so there was no one to man the ship.

“Shiver me timbers,” thought Captain Roberts, “I have to do this by myself. All I need is a plan.”

The captain paced the foredeck, fingering his sword. Back and forth he walked, gazing at the smooth green sea, until it hit him.

“I’m hungry,” he thought, “but the good grub’s in the castle.”

The cook had always liked the captain and would sneak him food when she could. Salted beef and sea biscuits might keep a sailor alive on the high seas, but when the Corsair was in port, the cook could always be counted on, except when she made asparagus. The whole crew hated it.

At last he knew what to do. He took off his pirate hat, his sword and pistol, and even his eyepatch.

“No one will recognize me now,” thought Captain Roberts as he started to climb down the rope ladder, “not even my enemy, the King.”

After creeping down from his ship, he ran across the dock and hid behind an overturned cart. From there, he crawled on his belly behind a tree and some bushes. Finally, he sprinted across the drawbridge and into the castle.

“No one saw me,” he thought, as he hid behind the drapes and plotted his next move.

A door suddenly opened, and in walked the Queen, with the Princess right behind her. The pirate held his breath and froze.

“Stanley,” said his mom, spotting his shoes, “get out of there! What do you think you’re doing? You’re covered in mud!”

“You’re my prisoners,” said Captain Roberts as he stepped out from his hiding place and brandished . . . nothing. All his weapons were on the Corsair.

“They can’t find out I left my weapons behind,” he thought, so he stuck out his chest and stomped around the room to distract them.

“Surrender,” boomed the Captain in his deepest pirate voice, “or my pirate hordes will kill you!”

“That’s not polite,” said the Queen. “And you’re tracking dirt all over my floor.”

“You’re kinda short for a pirate,” said the Princess.

Captain Roberts blushed. He didn’t like girls, especially this one.

“You know Annie,” said the Queen. “She’s from your class. She’s going to play here while her mom takes their baby to the doctor.”

“He has a cold – maybe he’ll get a shot,” said Princess Annie cheerfully. “Where’s your ship?”

Captain Roberts pointed across the docks to the Corsair.

“A treehouse!” she said. “My parents won’t let me have one – you’re so lucky!”

Without another word, she ran across the yard and climbed up into the treehouse. Captain Roberts just stood there, wondering what to do with someone who kidnaps herself, until he too ran over to the Corsair.

“Play nice,” yelled the Queen. “I’ll bring snacks later.”

He only heard the last part.

“Is this all you have?” said the Princess, after they both were on deck. “What’s that slingshot for?”

“A cannon,” said Captain Roberts, feeling a little less proud of the Corsair.

“You should have a parrot,” she said. “All pirates have parrots. I have a parakeet in my bedroom.”

“What’s its name?”

“Two,” said Princess Annie.

“That’s a stupid name.”

“It’s the second one,” she replied.

“What happened to the first?”

“I tied a message to her leg and let her out, but she never came back. What about that sword?”

“I also have a spyglass, a gun, a hat, and an eyepatch,” said Captain Roberts.

“That’s only a Firemaster 2000,” she replied. “I have a Firemaster 5000. How many darts do you have?”

“Not many. I keep losing them.”

“Me too,” said the Princess.

“You’re my prisoner,” said Captain Roberts. “I’m holding you for ransom.”

“No, you’re not.”

“But you’re a princess,” said the pirate. “Princesses get captured.”

“I want to be a pirate,” she replied.

“But I’m the captain,” said Captain Roberts.

“I want to be the captain,” said Princess Annie. “You can be my first mate.”

Just then, the cook arrived from the castle with a tray.

“Grog!” said the Captain.

“Hardtack!” said the Princess, which impressed the pirate.

“Cookies and chocolate milk,” said the cook. “You’ll have to come down to eat it.”

It did not take long for Captain Roberts and Princess Annie to climb down from the Corsair. Pirating took a lot of grub.

After finishing their snack, they climbed back up.

“I challenge you to a duel,” said Princess Annie. “If I win, I get to be captain.”

Captain Roberts knew that he had to fight her under the Pirates’ Code. No duel could be refused, unless . . . .

“I only have one sword,” said the Captain. Now there could be no duel!

“Rock Paper Scissors,” Annie replied. “Best two out of three.”

Tension ran high as fingers flashed in combat. In the end, Annie won.

“You can be a captain, too,” said Captain Annie, with a smile.

Captain Roberts got the hat and sword, since the Corsair was his ship, and Captain Annie got the eyepatch and the pistol. They shared the spyglass and the slingshot.

“But now what do we do for ransom?” asked Captain Roberts.

Captain Annie thought for a few minutes, and asked “Who’s in the house?”

“Only the Queen.”

“Let’s kidnap her,” she said.

The pirates climbed down from the Corsair, and raising a fierce pirate yell, ran across the dock and stormed the castle. They found the Queen coming downstairs.

“We want your gold,” demanded Captain Annie.

“What,” replied the Queen, “the milk and cookies weren’t enough?”

“We’re kidnapping you,” said Captain Annie, pointing her pistol.

“We want ransom,” added Captain Roberts, waving his sword.

“Well,” said the Queen, “if you put your weapons down, there’s some treasure buried out by the tree. Just remember, I placed a curse on it before I hid it.”

They ran over to the tree and found a freshly dug hole marked by a sign with skulls and crossbones. A shovel lay nearby.

“Pirates aren’t afraid of anything,” said Captain Roberts, as he started to dig.

“That’s it!” said Captain Annie after he uncovered the corner of a bag.

She reached down and grabbed it, when SNAP!, the mousetrap was sprung, kicking up dirt and startling Captain Annie, who tumbled backwards.

“It’s cursed!” yelled Captain Roberts, who dropped the shovel in surprise.

Captain Annie recovered herself, and pulled the bag out of the hole.

“Gold doubloons,” she said as she opened it. “The best kind.”

“Chocolate?” asked Captain Roberts.

“And lots of them,” she replied as she pulled the gold foil off one and took a bite.

They took their treasure back to the Corsair and quickly sorted it into two piles. Captain Roberts gave Captain Annie the extra one.

“Uh oh,” she said. “Give me the spyglass.”

A quick look showed Annie’s mother was back from the doctor’s office to pick up her daughter.

“Batten down the hatches” said Captain Annie. “There’s a big storm brewing.”

“Abandon ship,” ordered Captain Roberts.

The pirates ran into the castle’s stable and hid. But the Queen knew all Captain Roberts’ hide outs, and she quickly found them.

“Time for Annie to go home,” said the Queen. “Her mom’s here.”

The pirates surrendered and, holding their hands high, marched into the kitchen, where they saw the leftover hardtack. The Queen gave her prisoners two more cookies.

“Say goodbye, Stanley,” said the Queen. “Maybe you can go over to Annie’s sometime and play.”

“Yes!” said Captain Annie.

Her mother looked dubious. She knew enough about Stanley, who just stood there and blushed. Annie and her mother left, and Stanley felt all the fun leave the house.

“Cheer up,” said his mother. “We’re having asparagus casserole for dinner, with asparagus ice cream covered in asparagus sauce for dessert.”

She knew Stanley hated asparagus. They were really having hamburgers, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Yuck,” said Stanley, who faked gagging all the way to his room.

“A little peace and quiet,” thought his mother. “Now I can make dinner without a pirate underfoot.”

* * * * *
There are four earlier stories about Stanley.
“The Teddy Bear Detective”
https://rayaso.livejournal.com/22954.html
“Home on the Range”
https://rayaso.livejournal.com/26263.html
“The Mars Expedition”
https://rayaso.dreamwidth.org/1771.html
“Keep It Safe”
https://rayaso.livejournal.com/35790.html

For Season 11, Week 30 Portfolio
1. Favorite: "The Pirates" https://rayaso.livejournal.com/37750.html
2. Lifeboat: "Bunkers and Blueberry Pie" https://rayaso.livejournal.com/44294.html
3. Fermentation: "FTSEC" https://rayaso.livejournal.com/44034.html
4. Champion (whipchick) "Budha Nature" https://whipchick.livejournal.com/75957.html [I am so grateful for her willingness to be my champion and for the excellence of her story]
5. Re-Do of "My True North" https://rayaso.livejournal.com/38989.html : "Lost" https://rayaso.livejournal.com/44632.html